365 Women a Year

January 12, 2015

Something different this month - a ten minute musical about pelvic exams!

 

Well, really it's about Dr. Lila Wallis, the "Godmother of Women's Health,"  written for the 365 Women a Year project.  Here's  sneak preview - lyrics to a little ditty I call "Pelvic Rodeo."  Yee haw!!

 


The COWBOY DOCTOR wheels an OB/GYN table (or some approximation of
such) on stage. During the song, he’ll coax Lila up on the table,
corral her into position, etc. EVE and MARY act as chorus/back up
dancers.


Cowboy Doctor:

GIDDYUP L’IL FILLY
FEET UP IN DA STIRRUPS
GOT MY TRUSTY SPECULUM
TO WRANGLE DAT DERE CERVIX


GET ALONG L’IL DOGGIE
DRESS OFF, PUT ON YER GOWN
DON’T COVER MUCH, TOUGH LUCK
HOP UP, NOW SCOOT DOWN


Chorus:

YIPPIE YI YAY! YIPPIE YI YO!
A PELVIC EXAM IS THE PITS,
YOUR FAULT FOR HAVIN’ LADY BITS


Cowboy Doctor:

THIS MIGHT PINCH A LITTLE
IT SURE DO FEEL AWKWARD
OPEN WIDE, I’LL PEEK INSIDE
DON’T YOU SAY A WORD


I USE MY HANDS OF STEEL
TO PUSH AND PROD AND POKE
MY ONLY JOB’S THE CELLS I SWAB
YOUR COMFORT IS A JOKE


Chorus:
YIPPIE YI YAY! YIPPIE YI YO!
A PELVIC EXAM IS THE PITS,
YOUR FAULT FOR HAVIN’ LADY BITS


Cowboy Doctor:

I TOLD YA TO RELAX
BUT YER STILL FEELIN’ TENSE
I’LL SAY RELAX TEN MORE TIMES
GUESS YER SORT O’ DENSE


HERE COMES MISTER SPECULUM
IT GIVES ‘EM SUCH A SCARE
BARE DOWN NOW, MY SWEET COW
OOPS, I SNAGGED A HAIR


Chorus:
YIPPIE YI YAY! YIPPIE YI YO!
A PELVIC EXAM IS THE PITS,
YOUR FAULT FOR HAVIN’ LADY BITS!


 

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