BIRTH·DAY {bûrth · dā} [n]

 

BIRTH·DAY {bûrth · dā} [n]. 1. a day of one's birth, the state of being born. 

 

b. The beginning of existence.  Not to be confused with the being born again, a largely convenient practice of denial, absolving one of past sins (see "Born Again Virgin") whilst damning all else to eternal Hell for expressing individual thought; nor relating to those followers of L. Ron Hubbard, who was not only born again but refuses to actually die as he continues to publish from the grave.

 

c. The anniversary of birth.  Traditionally celebrated by the giving of gifts unless you are a struggling artist and your peers equally impoverished, or the unfortunate child of well meaning, non-materialistic parents that refused to bow to society's conventions, thereby slamming you into years of therapy to abate the ceaseless, painful longing for a pink, plastic Barbie Dream House (or at least a couple of lousy Bratz dolls, which you could have hidden under the bed when Granny came to visit, not that she would've seen 'em anyway given her fondness for the cooking sherry.)  

 

2. A beginning or origin.

 

3. a. The act of bearing young; parturition.  Related to the female organism, with exception of the hermaphroditic condition, ergo bisexual; of two sexes.  No, not bissextile, which is, of course, of or pertaining to the extra day falling in a leap year.  

 

b. The passage of a child from the uterus through the birth canal, except for Moses who was rumored to be passing down the Tigress canal (or was it the Euphrates?) and Sal the Mule, passing, as the tale would have it, 16 miles on the Erie.

 

4. Ancestry; parentage: "a woman of noble birth."  Related to Birthright, a privilege granted to a person by virtue of his birth, but not related to Birthwort, a tropical woody vine, having reddish, acridly scented flowers; of the genus Aristolochia. 

 

5. Origin; lineage:  "a Conservative by birth" (See Republican.),  "an idiot by birth." (see Republican.)    -tr.  [v] Birthed, Birth·ing, Births.  1. To deliver (A baby.  Though "Pizza Birthing Boy" would be grammatically correct, it is uncommon in modern vernacular.)  To bear. To be. (Or not to be...) - Idiom. give birth to.  To bring into being.  [ME of ON origin]  See related:  Birth Canal, Birth Certificate, Birth Control, Birth Mark, Birth Rate ("She's a 10!!"), Birth Stone (Keith Richards), Birth Trauma (life),  Biscuit.  

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