Tales of Terror for Today's Woman - Pt. 2

October 25, 2015

 

Lights UP.  GIRLFRIEND sits, reading a magazine. MARY rushes in, stopping to give her a quick peck on the cheek.  


MARY
Hi, Babe - sorry I’m late. I’ll get dinner started, hamburgers - okay?


GIRLFRIEND
I have herpes.


BLACK OUT.


Lights up.  Mary is surprised by the Ghost of Christmas To Come.


MARY
AH! Who are you?

THE GHOST
The Ghost of Christmas to Come.


MARY
But - I’m Jewish.


THE GHOST
The Ghost of Chanukah was booked. I’m here to tell your future.


(The following is with a beat, a la E-40’s “Choices”)


MARY
Okay... will I ever be wed?


THE GHOST
Nope.


MARY
I’ll be single till I’m dead?


THE GHOST
Yup.


MARY
Will I get a promotion?


THE GHOST
Nope.


MARY
‘Cause I show too much emotion?


THE GHOST
Yup.


MARY
Will I crack the glass ceiling?


THE GHOST
Nope.


MARY
Will I have offspring?


(The beat stops.)


THE GHOST
Undecided.


MARY
Un - wait - that should’ve been a “Yup.“


THE GHOST
And you should’ve gone to medical school.  Turns out your mother really did know best - so who’s the asshole now, Huh?   

BLACK OUT.

 

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