One Acts

Karma

 

"Heaven? Ha. No such thing. Sorry to break it to you. Actually, I'm not sorry - it's the best part of my job."

 

Comedy (3 W; 2 M) 20 minutes

 

 

"KARMA is impressive not only for its sharp wit and clever dialogue, but for its sheer dedication to its concept. "

- City Paper; Philadelphia, PA

Field Trip

"One doesn't line up children to practice parallel parking. "

 

Comedy (3 W) 40 minutes

Ten Minute Plays

Natural Selection

"Actors.  There are far too many of you. We don’t have enough roles, waiter jobs, or silicone implants to go around."


Comedy (2 M; 2 M or W) 10 Minutes

Bridge and Tunnel

"Maybe there was a break in the space/time continuum and the shoe belongs to a woman from a hundred years ago who, due to some blip in the universe, lost it and it slipped through a black hole from another dimension and Tom doesn’t even know it's there much less who it belongs to.  Or maybe he's cheating."

 

Comedy (2 W, 1 M)  10 minutes

Bargaining with Fate and Death

"Uh - I have a two o’clock appointment with Fate? And then I’m supposed to see Death at 2:45?"

 

Comedy (3 M, 2 W) 10 minutes

Hungary Hearts

"The secret to my beauty?  Good genes, I suppose.  That and frequent baths."

 

Comedy (1 M, 1 W) 10 minutes

 

Three Ghosts of Elizabeth Bathory

"You think men have issues with strong women today? Imagine the sixteenth century! "

 

Comedy (2 W) 10 minutes

Sales of a Death Man

"Wait - the After Life is a fucking pyramid scheme?!"
 

Comedy (3 W, 1 M) 10 minutes

Manifest Destiny

"Like our forefathers, we have the Divine right to expand and we have His blessing to crush anyone in our way."

Comedy (1W, 1 M) 10 minutes

Doing Lunch

"Don't despair if your child is born retarded, they can always be a personal assistant."

 

Comedy  (3 W, 1 M) 10 minutes

"Guaranteed to get you laughing."

- Tolucan Times, Burbank, CA

 

Camping Out

"My uncle's queer. Well, my Mom says he's just shy, but he lives with a man."

Comedy/Drama (3 W) 10 minutes

Fun For Cats;
Death to Elves

"Our dental plan's a joke.  Hermey tries, but he's still a misfit. "

Comedy (2 M, 2 W) 10 minutes

Welfare

"The wife kicked me out 'cause she found me with another gal. But I was only with the other gal due to the feelings of abandonment and emotional disconnect with my wife. 

And also she got fat."

 

Comedy (1 M, 1 W) 10 minutes

'Ello, Ella?

"Blimey! My ear! God - he gets so mad! He's gonna give himself a heart attack.  He better hope he doesn't 'cause I don't know CPR and for him I'm bloody well not calling 411!"

 

Comedy (2 W) 10 minutes

Tales of Terror
for Today's Woman

"Look here, Woman!  That uterus of yours must be filled - or it will explode.  Ka-Pow!"
 

Comedy (2 W, 1 M) 10 minutes

Ava Maria

"I was there when the first fish grew legs and crawled outta the ocean.  I was like "Evolution? DAAAYM!"
 

Comedy (2 W) 10 minutes

Monologues

Beauty

"Uncle Earl was so generous, why if you needed it, he'd take the shirt off his back and give it to you - right then and there. Of course, later he started taking everything off and we had to put him in a home."

 

Comedic monologue; Female; 5 minutes

The Spirit!

"As a highly spiritual person, I do not judge others, but really, I challenge anyone to find a slower bunch of dimwits than at a Mickey D's."

 

Comedic monologue; Female, 5 minutes

Social Consciousness

"On my flight? My breast implants? They like totally exploded!  I was watching the in-flight movie and I heard this "pop!" and at first I thought "Oh, goody, champagne!" but then I looked down and it was me!"

 

Comedic monologue; Female; 5 minutes

Hi, Roomie!

Title. Double click me.

"You were a cheerleader? Wow! Cheerleaders don't usually go to college. Usually they end up fat and working at Kmart. Your parents must be psyched!"

 

Comedic monologue; Female; 5 minutes

Fact or Opinion

"We need to issue a retraction to local Doctor David Nardin as Ms. Namora failed to recognize the difference between "Podiatrist" and "Pederast."

 

Comedic monologue; Female, 3 minutes 

Pierced

" I moved to freakin’ Los Angeles; Land of Lycra and the Brain Dead.  Everyone kept saying I was sooo "New York" - which I gather was a euphemism for "Bitch."

 

Comic/Dramatic monologue, Female, 5 minutes

Limelight

"My agent is a sort of distracted, library lady type that handles my resume like limp lettuce and meters out her words as if they're costing her money. "Thanks. for. dropping. these. by."

 

Comedy/Dramatic monologue;  Male or Female, 8 minutes

 

Lucky

"I just wanted her to see a bit of how the other half lives.  The half that doesn’t have an i Phone or porcelain veneers or a trust fund."

 

Dramatic monologue, Female, 9 minutes

Mice

"Trump Tower, I used to work there and let me tell you, The Donald is a dick." 

 

Comedic monologue, Female, 5 minutes