365 Women a Year

Something different this month - a ten minute musical about pelvic exams!

Well, really it's about Dr. Lila Wallis, the "Godmother of Women's Health," written for the 365 Women a Year project. Here's sneak preview - lyrics to a little ditty I call "Pelvic Rodeo." Yee haw!!

The COWBOY DOCTOR wheels an OB/GYN table (or some approximation of such) on stage. During the song, he’ll coax Lila up on the table, corral her into position, etc. EVE and MARY act as chorus/back up dancers.

Cowboy Doctor:

GIDDYUP L’IL FILLY FEET UP IN DA STIRRUPS GOT MY TRUSTY SPECULUM TO WRANGLE DAT DERE CERVIX

GET ALONG L’IL DOGGIE DRESS OFF, PUT ON YER GOWN DON’T COVER MUCH, TOUGH LUCK HOP UP, NOW SCOOT DOWN

Chorus:

YIPPIE YI YAY! YIPPIE YI YO! A PELVIC EXAM IS THE PITS, YOUR FAULT FOR HAVIN’ LADY BITS

Cowboy Doctor:

THIS MIGHT PINCH A LITTLE IT SURE DO FEEL AWKWARD OPEN WIDE, I’LL PEEK INSIDE DON’T YOU SAY A WORD

I USE MY HANDS OF STEEL TO PUSH AND PROD AND POKE MY ONLY JOB’S THE CELLS I SWAB YOUR COMFORT IS A JOKE

Chorus: YIPPIE YI YAY! YIPPIE YI YO! A PELVIC EXAM IS THE PITS, YOUR FAULT FOR HAVIN’ LADY BITS

Cowboy Doctor:

I TOLD YA TO RELAX BUT YER STILL FEELIN’ TENSE I’LL SAY RELAX TEN MORE TIMES GUESS YER SORT O’ DENSE

HERE COMES MISTER SPECULUM IT GIVES ‘EM SUCH A SCARE BARE DOWN NOW, MY SWEET COW OOPS, I SNAGGED A HAIR

Chorus: YIPPIE YI YAY! YIPPIE YI YO! A PELVIC EXAM IS THE PITS, YOUR FAULT FOR HAVIN’ LADY BITS!