Margaret Knight's Battle Rap; 1871 (Pt. 2)

March 4, 2017

 

In honor of Women's History Month.  Part 2 of 3.

 

JUDGE
Order!  A sound argument, Ms. Knight, and your evidence is compelling, but that wasn’t really rap.


CHARLES
What does she know?  She’s just a factory girl.


The Commissioners break into “Factory Girl” by the Rolling Stones.


COMMISSIONERS
WAITING FOR A GIRL WHO’S GOT CURLERS IN HER HAIR.


MARGARET
It’s true I worked in a factory, that’s how  -


COMMISSIONERS
WAITING FOR A FACTORY GIRL!


MARGARET
Your Honor!


JUDGE
That’s enough.


COMMISSIONERS

Awww.


JUDGE
You can’t always get what you want.


MARGARET
In fact, I created my first invention after witnessing an accident at the factory where I labored. 

 

CHARLES
Then where is your patent?!


MARGARET
I was young, I didn’t know about such things.


CHARLES
Hornswoggle! Balderdash!


MARGARET
It’s Simon pure, your Honor.  Sound on the goose.


COMMISSIONER 2
I love Nineteenth century slang, don’t you?


COMMISSIONER 3
Shut your Bazoo, Nancy boy!


CHARLES
Your Honor, if I may embark upon my rebuttal?


JUDGE
Proceed.


The Commissioners begin pounding the table, stomping, boom boxing, etc. 


CHARLES
MY FLOW BE SMOOTH LIKE HOURGLASS SANDS
BEHOLD THIS MODEL I HOLD IN MY HANDS
HOME GIRL CLAIM SHE INVENT STUFF?
BITCH, YOU KOO KOO FOR COCO PUFFS
DONCHA KNOW, HO, YOU SHOULD BE IN THE KITCHEN
BAREFOOT AND PREGNANT  -  STICK TO YOUR KNITTIN’  
MY HUSTLE  BE CRYSTAL TO ANY SENTIENT HUMAN
DIS FAR TOO COMPLEX TO BE MADE BY A WOMAN


COMMISSIONER 2
A rap first rate!


COMMISSIONER 2
The man came to exfluncticate!  


JUDGE
Ms. Knight, your rebuttal?

 

Click back to blog for Part 3 - the breath taking conclusion!!

Please reload

Recent Posts

September 28, 2019

December 5, 2018

January 10, 2017

Please reload