Margaret Knight's Battle Rap; 1871 (Pt. 2)

In honor of Women's History Month. Part 2 of 3.

JUDGE Order! A sound argument, Ms. Knight, and your evidence is compelling, but that wasn’t really rap.

CHARLES What does she know? She’s just a factory girl.

The Commissioners break into “Factory Girl” by the Rolling Stones.

COMMISSIONERS WAITING FOR A GIRL WHO’S GOT CURLERS IN HER HAIR.

MARGARET It’s true I worked in a factory, that’s how -

COMMISSIONERS WAITING FOR A FACTORY GIRL!

MARGARET Your Honor!

JUDGE That’s enough.

COMMISSIONERS

Awww.

JUDGE You can’t always get what you want.

MARGARET In fact, I created my first invention after witnessing an accident at the factory where I labored.

CHARLES Then where is your patent?!

MARGARET I was young, I didn’t know about such things.

CHARLES Hornswoggle! Balderdash!

MARGARET It’s Simon pure, your Honor. Sound on the goose.

COMMISSIONER 2 I love Nineteenth century slang, don’t you?

COMMISSIONER 3 Shut your Bazoo, Nancy boy!

CHARLES Your Honor, if I may embark upon my rebuttal?

JUDGE Proceed.

The Commissioners begin pounding the table, stomping, boom boxing, etc.

CHARLES MY FLOW BE SMOOTH LIKE HOURGLASS SANDS BEHOLD THIS MODEL I HOLD IN MY HANDS HOME GIRL CLAIM SHE INVENT STUFF? BITCH, YOU KOO KOO FOR COCO PUFFS DONCHA KNOW, HO, YOU SHOULD BE IN THE KITCHEN BAREFOOT AND PREGNANT - STICK TO YOUR KNITTIN’ MY HUSTLE BE CRYSTAL TO ANY SENTIENT HUMAN DIS FAR TOO COMPLEX TO BE MADE BY A WOMAN