A Tall Cup of Clueless
Starbucks, the world's biggest coffee chain, kicked off a U.S. race relations campaign last week... Employees behind the counter were asked to write "Race Together" on customers' cups.
Business Insider 3/22/15
INT. STARBUCKS EMPLOYEE BREAK ROOM
Three teenage baristas anxiously watch the time clock. It clicks audibly.
MUFFY
Shift's started.
AMIR
Kill me now.
CHIP
I still don't get it.
MUFFY
It's so random.
CHIP
Where's that Memo?
MANAGER LINDA pokes her head in the door.
MANAGER LINDA
We've got customers - come on!
She ducks out. Chips reads the Memo posted on the wall.
CHIP
Ok - here it goes - blah, blah, we're supposed to write on the cups.
AMIR
HQ's head's up its ass.
CHIP
(reading) And "engage the customer in a dialogue."
MUFFY
Awkward!
CHIP
"Race together?" What - we're supposed to run a marathon with them?
MUFFY
No, just talk about it.
CHIP
We're supposed to talk about running a marathon with them?
AMIR
Race like ethnicity, retard.
MUFFY
They want us to, like, convo about racism.
CHIP
Oh HELL no -
Manager Linda sticks her head in the door.
MANAGER LINDA
What the F, guys?! They're stacked up 20 deep out there!
She's gone. Amir plods toward the front of house.
AMIR
I sooo gotta get a new gig.
He exits.
MUFFY
You don't have to write it.
CHIP
Like you don't have to play on the softball team? I missed one season and I still get all the shitty shifts. Are you gonna do it?
MUFFY
I guess. I do have personal experience.
CHIP
You're from Martha's Vineyard.
MUFFY
Yeah, but I spent a summer in Cancun.
CHIP
This is gonna go bad for me. I know it. Like when I picked the CD of the Day.
MUFFY
Dude, "The Negro Problem?!"
CHIP
IT'S A BAND!
MUFFY
Yeah, well, next time maybe don't write it in huge letters on the menu board.
She exits. Chip paces.
CHIP
I'm gonna get my ass kicked.
He stops, squaring his shoulders.
Screw it.
INT. STARBUCKS
Chip marches to the front of house. It's BUSY; a looong line of customers are impatiently waiting. Chip takes his place behind a register.
CHIP
Next!
CUSTOMER 1, an attractive, Asian looking woman approches.
CUSTOMER 1
Jade Citrus tea, please.
Chip grabs a cup, begins writing "# RaceTogether" on it.
CHIP
Jade. That's a Chinese gem stone, right?
CUSTOMER 1
I don't know. I'm not -
CHIP
Chinese?/
CUSTOMER 1
/- a gemologist.
CHIP
And what's the deal with that "If it's a girl, throw it in the river" thing?
CUSTOMER
What?!
CHIP
Nothing -
CUSTOMER 1
I'm Cherokee, Douche.
Customer 1 moves to another barista's line. CUSTOMER 2, a bearded, middle aged man, steps up.
CUSTOMER 2
Onion bagel, please.
CHIP
Bagels, yum! Bagels are the best! And Chanukah! Chanukah's awesome, right? Not just one day of gifts, but a whole week!
CUSTOMER 2
Do you have Asperger's?
CHIP
Ha! Ha! No! Or at least I don't think so, I don't know what that is! Want to have a dialogue about it?
CUSTOMER 2
No, I want my friggen' bagel.
Chip hurridly gives Customer 2 his bagel. He departs as CUSTOMER 3, a very tall, very strong, very dark skinned man in a Malcolm X T-shirt steps up.
CUSTOMER 3
Venti drip.
Chip grabs a cup and starts to write "# RaceTogether."
CHIP
Sure thing! Milk? Sugar?
CUSTOMER 3
Nah.
Beat. Chip stops writing.
CHIP
So, just ...
CUSTOMER 3
Black.
Beat. Chip scribbles out what he's written.
CHIP
You got it.
END
